Somethings wrong.

Other than the fact that my diet has somehow become nonexistent.  Im not psychically injured in any way .. it's just that lately, I've been down.  It's not stress.  It's just .. I think I just might be sad.  

It's not unusual, I've been through this before, countless times.  But it gets aggravating when the one person you go to becomes unavailable due to issues he wont tell you.  Now, is it my fault that he's the person I've become dependent on when I crash and burn?  Possibly.  And, is it fair to say that it's reciprocated?  Yes.  So what to do when he's not here?

There's always other people, right?  Yes, I've thought about that.  Family members too.  But I find them to be too .. prying.  Too many questions.  Just .. too many.  It's not questions Im looking for or a pitying face. 

What Im looking for is solace.  And I find it in him.

So what to do now?

Well .. distracting myself seems to be the only solution to this problem.  I just picked up a random book from Borders.  After the Kiss.  It's .. different.  I cant seem to get the rhythm right, but I like it.  I got back in contact with someone .. quite unlikely to have changed since the last time we spoke and had a falling apart.  She's predictable, and heavily influenced by other people but deep down she's not so bad.  At least for now .. 

Work, why do you hate me so?

I dont understand.  I put forth so much effort just for you, so much of my time and I feel like it's never enough.  Is there something Im doing wrong?  Am I not asking the right questions?  Today .. today was especially harsh.  Why?

They say the more you fail, the faster you succeed.  And in many ways I agree, because I've made many mistakes.  For you.  Along the way I've stumbled, caught, and pulled myself up.  Those were the footsteps I made and now here I am.  Still caught up with my failures.

Why?
..

It's okay, you dont have to answer.  Because I'll persevere.  Tomorrow's always another day ..